When I tell people I’m an Adversity Coach (AKA Life Coach), I often get the comment about how they don’t want to delve into the past and sometimes the past is worth leaving in the past. The thing is, I don’t delve into the past. A Coach is NOT a therapist or a counselor. There are some major differences between the two.
First and foremost, we are not doctors nor dd we go to school and get any type of training in order to help people overcome certain past issues. We may have to dip into a circumstance here or there in order to understand why you are where you are but we don’t help you overcome it. We focus on the positive. We focus on today moving forward. We focus on helping you make your life as best as you want it.
Second, a counselor or therapist, etc…, are typically the leaders. They lead the conversations and “meetings” with specific questions. Whereas coaches, are guides. We help you go the route you want to go and we don’t ever tell you which way to go. We help and guide, even if you’re stuck, but we never “tell” you.
Thirdly, we help you set goals and typically achieve them rather quickly. We help keep you on track and keep you accountable, even outside of our session together, we stay in contact via email, phone, etc… A counselor or therapist, etc…does not set out clear and concise goals and typically their sessions are over longer periods of time.
To be a counselor or therapist, you need to be certified and educated. As a coach, there are no requirements. A coach can be anyone who claims they are a coach and starts to advertise.
HOWEVER, I STRONGLY recommend to hire a coach who has some form of certification. I for one, considered myself to be quite knowledgeable on how to overcome adversities considering everything I’ve bene through in life, however, once I took a certification course, I realized how much I needed to learn before I could truly help someone and call myself a life coach.
So let’s paint this picture. I’m seven months pregnant, my husband and I have a 4 year old daughter, my husband has a 12 year old son, and we just started the process to adopt a thirteen year old girl. Life was great. Of course not perfect, but as perfect as we thought it could be. I was a teacher, which was my dream since I was 8 years old, my husband had his own legal consulting practice, together we owned a coffee shop….things were simply going well. Then, my 4 year old was diagnosed with a failing kidney….two weeks later I was diagnosed with cervical cancer. Which, as I’m sure you could imagine, being pregnant, cervical cancer was terrible. The mindset you need to take on throughout a challenge like this is totally different than any other IF you want to overcome. Your Hero Within must be present and winning.
Of course my initial instinct was to be scared, nervous, sad…all of the “normal” things to feel…and then comes the anger and questioning “Why? Why me? Why now?”…but you must QUICKLY change that mindset. I had to think of all the reasons I had to live. My baby that was about to be born. Our daughter that needed my hand and hugs as she lay on tables full of needles for testing for her kidney. Our daughter that was about to move in and finally become part of a family, our family. I was needed to be a mom. I was needed to be a sister. I was needed to be an aunt. I was needed to be a daughter. I was needed to be a friend. I was needed to be a wife. I was needed on earth and therefor had to fight and had to win.
When you make this decision, one thing is for sure. YOU CAN NEVER WAIVER! You can NEVER go down the path of giving in. You can NEVER take the path and feel sorry or pitty for yourself and NEVER allow others to either. Once you make a decision to take the path of LIVING you can not even take a glimpse of what the other path looks like. You must have blinders on that allow you to only see the path you are on. This path must be called LIFE.
I believe that 75% of beating anything is all in your mind. Each of us have a power of the mind that we can not comprehend or understand its’ strength but when you need it, it’s there. When you use it, you win. This is part of your Hero Within. Grab it and win! I have been there. I have been at that place where you are looking death in the face and the only thing looking back is death. It’s that moment when your body and mind say “GIVE UP!” but your soul calls back “NEVER!!!” That’s when you win! That’s when you have life! That’s when you have found your Hero Within!
NEVER GIVE UP. MAKE A CHOICE TO WIN. CHOOSE YOUR HERO WITHIN!!!
If all of us could truly live for how we feel and what we care about and not what others think or feel, our lives would be so much greater. This is how we should live:
“I don’t have an amazing figure or a flat stomach. I’m far from being considered a model but, I’m ME. I eat food. I have curves. I have more fat than I should. I have scars because I have a history. Some people love me, some like me, some hate me. I have done good. I have done bad. I love my Pj’s and I go out without make up and sometimes don’t get my hair done. I’m random and crazy. I don’t pretend to be someone I’m not. I am who I am, you can love me or not. I won’t change! And if I love you, I do it with my Heart. I make no apologies for the way I am.” -ilovemylife.
**Be YOUR OWN HERO**