I recently read an article titled “How to love a woman who has been to hell and back.” Perhaps you’ve heard of it. While I read it, it spoke to me; like someone read my thoughts somehow and wrote them down for everyone to see. If you ask my husband, almost 20 years together now, he will tell you this is truth. He has endured a lot to get us to this point. The point of pure love and happiness…unconditional love. It took a lot for me to believe in it and to feel it. I have tested that love, pushed him away, and have ran as far as I could but he always stood there; strong and loving and most importantly accepting. When I got the courage to open up to my husband about my past, which was about 10 years in to our relationship I truly thought he’d leave. Instead, he stayed. He held me. He loved me more. His words have been etched in to my soul…”I now know how much you not only love me but trust me. Thank you. I will never betray it.” He realized that most things we did, experienced, just the ability to love him completely and more so allowing him to love me was a difficult feat and he appreciated it. Not the reaction I expected, but then again, he’s never been what I’ve expected. He defied all odds of us staying together and changed my entire perspective on what a husband is and how a father loves.
The article I read:
How do you love a woman who has been to hell and back? Few succeed, most fail.
If you’re not a strong person, you shouldn’t attempt to love this woman, you need to be patient and resilient. If you’re not determined, not resolved then don’t even try. You’ll make it worse.
The woman who has been to hell and back is a contradiction, she’s gentle at times and ferocious at others. She’ll push you away when you’re trying to get close. She’s unpredictable and you need to be ready for the pendulum swing.
Love her when she’s soft and gentle but love her more when she’s ferocious.
She wants her space, but she wants you close too. A woman who has been to hell and back doesn’t know how to find the balance. Help her. Hold her when she needs you and give her independence when she claims she doesn’t. Let her know that you’re there but don’t suffocate her. Remind her that she’s loved, stroke her hair and whisper in her ear.
She lays awake at night, struggling as you sleep beside her. Trying to overcome the demons in her mind and trying to find her peace to be with you. She wants to be in control but can’t quite get there.
A woman who has been to hell and back wants to be courageous, to face the world head on but isn’t always strong enough. She may need you to hold her hand, to be courageous with her, to be her partner. If she looks scared, hold her tight, if she pushes you away, hold her tighter.
She wonders if she’s not enough. She wonders if she’s too much. This woman who has been to hell and back doesn’t know how to find the balance. Help her, hold her, love her.
When she laughs, light radiates from deep within her but when she’s down it’s a dark cloud that descends. Love her always.
A woman who has been to hell and back is just waiting for you to leave, to walk away and never come back. That’s what she’s come to expect. Show her that is not the case. Show her what unconditional love is.
If you can love this woman, through the good and bad times, she will grow and find balance. She will be a strong, soft woman who will love you always. Just remember, when she doesn’t know how to show you love show her first and she’ll follow.